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The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage

The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage at Amazon.com


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ISBN: 0060936460 - The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage  
Title:The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage
Author:Cathi Hanauer
Publisher:Harper Paperbacks
Type:Book / Paperback
Publication Date:16 September, 2003
ISBN / ISBN-13:0060936460  /  9780060936464
List Price:$13.95
You Save:$2.79
Amazon Price:$11.16

* This book is also available, brand-new, from 3rd-party marketplace sellers at Amazon.com, from $2.99.



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Editorial Review / Publisher's Information:

Product Description

Virginia Woolf introduced us to the “Angel in the House”, now prepare to meet... The Bitch In the House.

Women today have more choices than at any time in history, yet many smart, ambitious, contemporary women are finding themselves angry, dissatisfied, stressed out. Why are they dissatisfied? And what do they really want? These questions form the premise of this passionate, provocative, funny, searingly honest collection of original essays in which twenty-six women writers—ranging in age from twenty-four to sixty-five, single and childless or married with children or four times divorced—invite readers into their lives, minds, and bedrooms to talk about the choices they’ve made, what’s working, and what’s not.

With wit and humor, in prose as poetic and powerful as it is blunt and dead-on, these intriguing women offer details of their lives that they’ve never publicly revealed before, candidly sounding off on:

• The difficult decisions and compromises of living with lovers, marrying, staying single and having children

• The perpetual tug of war between love and work, family and career

• The struggle to simultaneously care for ailing parents and a young family

• The myth of co-parenting

• Dealing with helpless mates and needy toddlers

• The constrictions of traditional women’s roles as well as the cliches of feminism

• Anger at laid-back live-in lovers content to live off a hardworking woman’s checkbook

• Anger at being criticized for one’s weight

• Anger directed at their mothers, right and wrong

• And–well–more anger...

“This book was born out of anger,” begins Cathi Hanauer, but the end result is an intimate sharing of experience that will move, amuse, and enlighten. The Bitch in the House is a perfect companion for your students as they plot a course through the many voices of modern feminism. This is the sound of the collective voice of successful women today-in all their anger, grace, and glory.

From The Bitch In the House:

“I believed myself to be a feminist, and I vowed never to fall into the same trap of domestic boredom and servitude that I saw my mother as being fully entrenched in; never to settle for a life that was, as I saw it, lacking independence, authority, and respect.” –E.S. Maduro, page 5

“Here are a few things people have said about me at the office: ‘You’re unflappable.’ ‘Are you ever in a bad mood?’ Here are things people—okay, the members of my family—have said about me at home: ‘‘Mommy is always grumpy.’ ‘Why are you so tense?’ ‘You’re too mean to live in this house and I want you to go back to work for the rest of your life!’” –Kristin van Ogtrop, page 161

“I didn’t want to be a bad mother I wanted to be my mother-safe, protective, rational, calm-without giving up all my anger, because my anger fueled me.” – Elissa Schappell, page 195



Amazon.com
"This book was born out of anger," begins Cathi Hanauer, which seems appropriate considering the book's title: The Bitch in the House. What could have been a collective gripe about the day-to-day routine of holding a family or relationship together is instead a witty, and sometimes bitchy, read. These postfeminist mothers, lovers, wives, and independent women candidly put forward their anger in the taffy-pull world of household responsibility. Jill Bialosky puts it most succinctly, "I had wanted to get married, but I realized now that I had never wanted to be a 'wife'." There are essays written by those who willfully, and often playfully, seek a life independent from domesticated routine, and others who have aged past the concerns of being a self-fulfilled and responsible mother. Author and poet Ellen Gilchrist, who is also a mother and a grandmother, sets this lasting tone of contentment, "Family and work. Family and work. I can let them be at war, with guilt as their nuclear weapon and mutually assured destruction as their aim, or I can let them nourish each other."

Not entirely angry, it is ultimately a satisfying read. There are no intended messages on how women can improve their relationships with their husbands, partners, and children. That is the beauty of the book. They have instead revealed modern motherhood, and solitude, as it is, and may have been all along. --Karin Rosman

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Customer Reviews:

 • A Stay-at-home Dad's Opininon
17 November, 2007

The title caught my eye - I'm a married guy - and although I wasn't sure what to expect (ranting ABOUT the less pleasant side of the women in our lives or ranting BY those same women about, well, about who knows what), I ended up kinda liking it. Most guys from my generation probably aren't naturally drawn to such things, but I've been a stay-at-home dad since our youngest was 6 months old. Now the two boys are 18 and 21 and out on their own (for the most part). My wife is still working and quite successful but near retirement and I'm in a kind of limbo or transition period. Am I a retired dad or should I explore a career? She's cool with it either way (lucky, right?) Anyway, I liked the book because a lot of what the ladies wrote about was familiar to me. Believe it or not there is some overlap in the way women feel and the way men feel who are involved in marriages and kids and such. Obviously there are differences - plenty of them. I think one major difference is some sort of angst women are wrestling with when it comes to self identity and should they focus on the kids or the career or finding themselves and so on. I personally didn't have to deal with any of that. I had a career and found that I could take it or leave it. I liked hanging out with the kids and being my own boss better. Fortunately we each had sufficient earnings power on our own to support a family. She wanted to join the rat race so more power to her. Obviously we would have been a lot richer financially with both incomes, but how much do you really need and what do you have to give up to get it??? We both had nice careers going before the kids came along. She chose to keep working with the first and so did I so we had a live in nanny. Pretty cool for me (she was older almost like a mother figure) but because she spoke very little English and my wife wasn't all that fluent in Spanish (I majored in it), she eventually grew weary of not being able to share in the stories of what the baby did while she was at work or to feel close to the primary caregiver. Eventually the demands of new motherhood, her career, and biology got the better of her and she had a bout of post partum depression. Long story short...we had a few traditional years (dad works mom stays home) and another child. Eventually she started feeling that her colleagues were leaving her behind and that all her education and work experience were being wasted. By then we were hooked on the value of having one parent home full time so we switched. This was 1989 and the stay at home dad thing was kinda rare - in fact people everywhere always made a big deal out of it. Strange. Some reviewers remarked that a lot of 'whining' was going on. In a way I agree, but who says they can't 'vent', ya know? This is the kind of book that allows that sort of thing and it probably is healthy and even helpful for others who may be wrestling with similar issues to see that they are not alone. Something like that. So for me this book is like a diary that the ladies put together chronicling (sp?) some of their experiences. I enjoyed listening to them and comparing their experiences to my own. My guess is that many of these essayists will grow out of the current angst and into the next stage of life and yet another set of things to deal with. Just like everyone else. Did I mention I liked the title? LOL

- Reviewed by customer ID: A2PPJH8I4R2PGX

 • Uhhh....can I Have My Money Back?
02 June, 2008

I apologize in advance that this review will not be very helpful to anyone, but all I can say is "Can I have my money back?"

- Reviewed by customer ID: A30PE40QKBVGMW

 • Loved This Book
26 December, 2007

Finally a book that really tells what REAL women think, feel, etc. It was a huge revelation to me that other women had the same feelings of insecurity, infidelity, etc. nice to know I'm not alone. I'd recommend this book to anyone.

- Reviewed by customer ID: A26B1Y567E00LZ

 • Fantastic
26 October, 2007

Wonderful collection. No man-hating. Just introspection, reflection and honesty from women about how they feel about their current lives, who they were, who they hope to be, and how they're getting there.

- Reviewed by customer ID: A22G8145D25TG5

 • Pretty Good, Mostly
04 April, 2008

Modern married women will relate to this thoughtful anthology of personal essays. Organized roughly by the age of the authors, The Bitch in the House covers a plethora of issues and decisions facing women today including working or not, marrying or not, having children or not, and how these decisions impact their lives. Although the pace did sag a bit in the middle, altogether it is a fine read. My favorite is the opening essay, "Excuse Me While I Explode," about a young newly-mated woman who finds herself helplessly falling into the same trap she perceives to have held her mother hostage: both resentful and proud about being more domestically competent than her partner.

- Reviewed by customer ID: A1ORBYEI2HLXS3


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