But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships | 
|  | | | Title: | But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships | | Author: | Jill Murray | | Publisher: | Harper Paperbacks | | Type: | Book / Paperback | | Publication Date: | 01 September, 2001 | | ISBN / ISBN-13: | 0060957298 / 9780060957292 | | List Price: | $13.00 | | You Save: | $2.60 | | Amazon Price: | $10.40 | |
 This book is also available, brand-new, from 3rd-party marketplace sellers at Amazon.com, from $0.49. |
The HTML code below can be pasted onto your web-site, your MySpace page, or blog - or any number of similar places - to create a link to this page: If, instead of a text link, you'd like to create a link to this page which will display the book cover, if it's available, then the code below will do exactly that:
Check for the same book at these other US book sites:
• [ Abebooks ] • [ Alibris ] • [ Barnes & Noble ] • [ Half.com ] • [ Powells ] … or check UK bookstores
| Editorial Review / Publisher's Information:
Product Description
One in three girls will be in a controlling, abusive dating relationship before she graduates from high school – from verbal or emotional abuse to sexual abuse or physical battering. Is your daughter in danger? Dr. Jill Murray speaks on the topic of dating violence at high schools around the country, reaching more than 10,000 students, teachers, and counsellors each year. In every school she visits, she is approached by teenage girls in miserable relationships who, when confronted with the option of breaking up with the boy, exclaim, "But I love him!" Many young women – and their parents, aren't even aware of the indications of a potentially abusive relationship. What's most alarming is that these warning signs are also some of the behaviours that girls find most flattering: A boy pages and calls a girl often – but as a form of control, not affection. He wants to spend all his time with her, but eventually won't allow her to spend time with her friends. He says "I love you" very early in the relationship. These behaviours can escalate into blaming, isolating, manipulating, threatening, humiliation, and sexual and physical abuse. In But I Love Him, Dr. Murray identifies these controlling, abusive patterns of behaviour and helps you get your daughter out of the relationship without alienating her. You will learn what draws her to this type of relationship, why she has a hard time talking to you about it, the special barriers teens face when breaking off a relationship, and what's going on in the mind of a teen abuser. Dr. Murray will help you show your teen what a respectful relationship looks like, and teach her the importance of respecting herself. edition.
Amazon.com
Parents of teen daughters listen up: according to Dr. Jill Murray, more than one in three girls will be involved in an abusive relationship. But I Love Him gets to the heart of this scary topic as painlessly as possible. With so much focus on physical concerns these days, it's not often that such emotional issues are confronted early enough to prevent them from becoming physical as well. Murray's constant theme is "love is a behavior", and in her book she shows not only what some destructive patterns are, but how even young teens can break free. Murray is a counselor and a parent, and she uses many real-life examples throughout the book; while many end positively, the few that don't are impossible to forget. When differences between emotional, sexual, and physical abuse are explained, you'll read stories like "My boyfriend used to shove me around and I'd cry. He'd say to me, 'stop being so dramatic. It's not like I hit you or anything.'" That's sad enough coming from an adult; when you see that this girl was only 14, it's even worse. Happily, much time is devoted to healing, and many clear-cut methods are laid out--this is not a problem likely to "just go away," and Murray emphasizes that this is the time when girls need their parents most deeply. Every parent in this situation is bound to ask why it is happening, and chapters concerning early patterns and family stress are dealt with in a fairly delicate manner--you won't find blame here, just a request to examine your own relationships honestly. Anyone who lives or works with teens is likely to benefit from learning about the issues addressed here; certainly this is not a book to be lightly dismissed. --Jill Lightner
| Other Items You May Enjoy:
Browse Books From These Related Subjects:
Customer Reviews:
• Excellent Words Of Wisdom 02 March, 2002
As a counsellor in domestic violence and human behaviour, so often I have heard the words, "If only I had done (or not done) .... he would never have hit me," or "He only pushed me, but he loves me and promised he would never do it again." Abuse is not about love; it is about control, and without extensive therapy for emotional issues that cause the abuser to abuse (quite often the abuser was himself a victim of abuse), the problem is not going to get better, it is not going to go away - it will, in all probability, escalate to greater heights as time goes on.The book points out many of the danger signals, and examines the various types of abuse: physical, verbal, emotional and sexual. The author also talks about the healing process for those who have been abused. When you stop to ponder the issue that one in three girls will be in a controlling, manipulative or abusive realtionship of some nature before they graduate from high school, it is enough to put both parents and teen-aged daughters on their guard. The aftermath of long-term abuse is devastating and horrendous beyond words; the emotional scars remain long after the physical wounds disappear. Quite often those scars never disappear and affect our self-image, our families and our future relationships. We have all heard that "love is blind" but there is also much truth to the statement that "there is none so blind as those who will not see." Denial is not always a wonderful thing. True love never physically hurts; it emotionally nurtures, heals and protects. As the reader will learn through the pages of this book, there are various kinds of love, but there is a huge difference between infatuation, addictive love and true lasting love. Teens, although they truly believe at the time they are madly "in love", are quite often in love with the idea of being in love. Being young, they have not yet had the opportunities or experiences to distinguish the difference between first love and overactive hormones, and mature and lasting love.The author uses real-life examples to drive her point home; they are true stories that go on in some part of the country, every minute of every hour of every day. If this book helps only one young woman (and there are bound to be many more) then the author may not only have prevented a tragedy, but perhaps saved a human life. This is highly recommended reading material and worth a universe of stars! Hats off to Jill Murray for telling it like it is.
- Reviewed by customer ID: A3SN9EF7GTNEU2
• Great Advise 20 March, 2002
What a wonderful book - it is so easy to fall into an abusive relationship. We need all the help we can get to protect our daugthers. Not only do we need to protect daugthers from abusive relationships, we also need to show and teach them how to love themselves. In Creating Extraordinary Joy, Chris Alexander show us how to love ourselves and others. - Thanks, Chris and Jim.
- Reviewed by customer ID: A99CILDQPTRTZ
|
