House Rules: A Memoir | 
|  | | | Title: | House Rules: A Memoir | | Author: | Rachel Sontag | | Publisher: | Ecco | | Type: | Book / Hardcover | | Publication Date: | 01 April, 2008 | | ISBN / ISBN-13: | 0061341223 / 9780061341229 | | List Price: | $24.95 | | You Save: | $8.48 | | Amazon Price: | $16.47 | |
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Product Description
At an early age, Rachel Sontag realized there was something deeply wrong with her father. On the surface, he was a well-respected, suburban physician. But questioning his authority led to brutal fights; disobedience meant humiliating punishments. When she was twelve, he duct-taped her stereo dial to National Public Radio, measured the length of her hair and fingernails with a ruler, and regulated when she could shower. A memoir of a father obsessed with control and the daughter who fights his suffocating grasp, House Rules explores the complexities of their compelling and destructive relationship, and his equally manipulative relationships with his wife and other daughter. As Rachel's mother cedes all her power to her husband, and her sister fades into the background of their family life, Rachel fights to escape, and, later, to make sense of what remains of her family.
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Customer Reviews:
• Family Friends Review 18 June, 2008
Rachel has written a well thought out book. She has demonstrated courage,honesty, and resilience! It is time for her parents to search their own souls and behaviors! No child can be a victim without needing to survive such abuse! What I find lacking in Stevellen's response is a lack of love and empathy. Our religion teaches us not to be disresptful to the dead. JoAnn Sontag was one of the most dignified human beings I had the honor of knowing! She did what she knew best, to try to help Rachel grow,develop, and have a chance to be the wonderful young woman she is! Bravo Rachel!! Keep writing. Love always from people who have been lucky to know you your whole life.
- Reviewed by customer ID: ATDGKT023NWGT
• Engaging And Revealing 24 June, 2008
For those who are doubtful of the truth behind this writing, it is unfortunate that it seems that either Amazon or Rachel's father removed his review of the book. It was very telling and confirmed for me everything that she states happened to her at the hands, and mind, of her father. This book is a good read, as it is interesting and quick, since the style tends to be conversational. Three-quarters of the book involve the difficulty that Rachel endured as a child, teen, and young adult. By the last 5 chapters, she is involved in more reflection and analysis of her experiences, and what she can resolve them to be so that she can continue on with her life. This book hit home for me for I had a difficult childhood, and at times had a hard time dealing with my father who often became extremely angry and threatening. I see myself in dealing with it more like Rachel's sister Jenny, still wanting normalcy and not understanding why it couldn't occur. My experiences, however, were nothing compared to the humiliation that Rachel suffered. I think that the reason that some people (maybe her parents?) have difficulty admitting that the situation was abusive is because when we hear of abused children, we usually imagine violence, drugs, alcohol, or sex being what is behind the abuse. In addition, it is not always obvious to the outside world, which is what creates the doubters, especially if the abuser is a functional person. The fact that the family is upper middle class doesn't hurt either. For Rachel, the abuse was psychological, and no less damaging - in fact, even more so, for a person must spend years trying to change their thinking after being in a situation like this. My assessment is that Rachel needed to write this book as a catharsis and a public announcement of her childhood so that she could continue on with her life.
- Reviewed by customer ID: AGS4XT5A357YB
• Great But Sad Book 20 June, 2008
This book really spoke to me. I couldn't put the book down; I read the whole book in about 4 hours in one sitting. This book will help many people who were also abused mentally as children. To Rachel... thank you for writing this book and I wish you the best. It has helped me see certain things that I never saw or understood but that were always there in the back of my mind.
- Reviewed by customer ID: A2CNVTNSBUJZ3A
• Abuse?? 26 June, 2008
Although an interesting read - It is insulting to children of abuse for Rachel Sontag to put herself in that category. Her dad definitly had issues and was in need of serious parenting classes - but one only need read a story such as "A Child Called IT" to glimpse the true horror and suffering of child abuse. Many true child abuse survivors would have dreamed of having a life like Rachel's.
- Reviewed by customer ID: A313TLVE21IL5K
• Beautiful, Bold & Brave 05 July, 2008
House Rules is the story of Rachel Sontag's childhood, of living with an abusive father, a respected doctor in the suburbs of Chicago (Evanston). When she was twelve, her father duct-taped her stereo dial to National Public Radio, measured the length of her hair and fingernails with a ruler, and regulated when she could shower. We soon learn that monsters can take any form. To say that her father was an emotional terrorist would be an understatement.
Sontag's account is a quiet but beautiful one. It's about survival, survival of a controlling father's tirade of insults, the cruel silences - all for minor infractions. And it's also about heartbreak and how loved ones can manipulate our trust. Sontag's mother, although well-meaning, was an enabling and emotionally unstable parent, who decided that delivering the appearance of an idyllic family - the successful doctor, the talented daughters, the mother devoted to social work - was paramount, even at the expense of her children's happiness and psychological stability.
Although this book is at times a painful read, it's also an inspiring one. Because House Rules is also the story of a woman fighting her way out by making the difficult but brave choice to end the relationship with her father, and fighting her way back to herself and a semblance of family (by forging healthier relationships with other family members and making sense of her childhood through therapy and self-reflection).
- Reviewed by customer ID: A3CL2BKS06PR7G
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