The Four Loves |
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| Title: | The Four Loves |
| Author: | C.S. Lewis |
| Publisher: | Mariner Books |
| Type: | Book / Paperback |
| Publication Date: | 29 September, 1971 |
| ISBN / ISBN-13: | 0156329301 / 9780156329309 |
| List Price: | $13.00 |
| You Save: | $3.64 |
| Amazon Price: | $9.36 |
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This book is also available, brand-new, from 3rd-party marketplace sellers at Amazon.com, from $7.25.
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Editorial Review / Publisher's Information:
Product Description
A candid, wise, and warmly personal book in which Lewis explores the possibilities and problems of the four basic kinds of human love- affection, friendship, erotic love, and the love of God. “Immensely worthwhile for its simplicity...a rare and memorable book” (Sydney J. Harris).
Amazon.com Review
The Four Loves summarizes four kinds of human love--affection, friendship, erotic love, and the love of God. Masterful without being magisterial, this book's wise, gentle, candid reflections on the virtues and dangers of love draw on sources from Jane Austen to St. Augustine. The chapter on charity (love of God) may be the best thing Lewis ever wrote about Christianity. Consider his reflection on Augustine's teaching that one must love only God, because only God is eternal, and all earthly love will someday pass away: Who could conceivably begin to love God on such a prudential ground--because the security (so to speak) is better? Who could even include it among the grounds for loving? Would you choose a wife or a Friend--if it comes to that, would you choose a dog--in this spirit? One must be outside the world of love, of all loves, before one thus calculates. His description of Christianity here is no less forceful and opinionated than in Mere Christianity or The Problem of Pain, but it is far less anxious about its reader's response--and therefore more persuasive than any of his apologetics. When he begins to describe the nature of faith, Lewis writes: "Take it as one man's reverie, almost one man's myth. If anything in it is useful to you, use it; if anything is not, never give it a second thought." --Michael Joseph Gross
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Customer Reviews:
• A Primer On Love
17 November, 2009
I found this excellent little book misfiled in a used bookstore and felt immediately that I had to rescue it. I'm very glad I did! This short and utterly readable book is nothing less than an introduction to the subject of love as understood by one of the great Christian minds of the 20th century.
Following the Greeks, C. S. Lewis divides love into four categories: Affection, Friendship, Eros, and Charity. He goes through each of the first three natural loves, offering observations and describing the joys, dangers, and challenges inherent in each. The last and highest love, Charity, is the love of God. Lewis claims that with love always comes risks--the ultimate risk of loss of the beloved or that your heart will be crushed. However, if one chooses not to love at all for fear of this risk, he will become hard, cold, and ultimately irredeemable.
Lewis's conclusion is startling: "The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
This book is littered with wise aphorisms and witty asides that are much too numerous to be listed here. If you need help understanding the role of love in your life, I encourage you to read this book. It will answer a lot of questions. That said, it is just a starting point for the subject as Lewis offers little in the way of practical advice. A further way station for folks who wish to continue exploring the role of love in the Christian life might be Philothea, or an Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales.
- Amazon Customer Review
• Great
15 September, 2009
This book has proven to be useful for the class I am using for. It was delivered in a very timely matter and I find that I am very satisfied by the service provided by Amazon
- Amazon Customer Review
• Brilliant
15 September, 2009
As with every other volume in this series, THE FOUR LOVES, proves to be yet another major success. It is philosophy, it is theology, it is profound, intelligent, and inspiring. C.S. Lewis discusses the four loves - that is, Affection, Friendship, Eros, and Charity - in the most brilliant manner. Philosophy like this will attract the attention and interest of anyone, regardless of their prior opinion on philosophy. For once, I felt like it actually mattered; whereas most other philosophy works I have read seemed quite far away from the business of "living a good life", which was philosophy's first goal. This is practical, useful, and usable.
Recommended.
- Amazon Customer Review
• Challenging But Worth It
15 February, 2010
C.S. Lewis once again lives up to his reputation as a brilliant Christian thinker. I wasn't very excited about this book when I started, but found it fascinating and changed the way I see love. It's interesting how he sees our foibles and gets to heart of human motives. Read this and allow yourself to be challenged. If you're not the thoughtful type, given to self examination, this may not be the book for you.
- Amazon Customer Review
• Thoughts On Why Marriage/long-term Relationships Fail
13 January, 2010
~ How being true friends can help us stay in love for the long haul ~
CS Lewis' eloquent depiction of what true friendship is in his book 'The Four Loves' provided much fodder for thought. It has struck a chord as to why some marriages and long-term relationships become trying after a while.
The following are helpful quotes on the characteristics of "true friends", which is very different from the everyday usage of the word "friends":
1) Friends operate side by side. They let you be you and are not duty-bound. 'Don't mention it' is the way they really feel. They do not impose nor do they burden us with demands or expectations.
2) There is no jealousy or rivalry. They are truly happy for us when our external circumstances may take a turn for the better vis-Ă -vis theirs;
3) Companionship is not friendship. Friendship begins with the pleasant discovery of common interests, 'What? You too?' and involves not only being absorbed in congenial activities but growing mutual interests as the friendship deepens over time.
4) A friend needs not agree with us about our answers and would stop at the onset of any arguments by agreeing to `Let's just agree to disagree';
5) Common quest which unites friends does not absorb them in such a way that they remain ignorant or oblivious of one another. A true friend is never uninterested or uninquisitive about our affairs, no matter how many times they might have heard about our issues and are ever-ready to present help in any way they can;
7) Eros (lovers) have naked bodies but true friends have naked personalities - they dare to be honest and are not fearful of showing the best and worst in us
8) Proverbs 17:17 - "A friend loves at all times", with the sort of love that covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).
Marriage is the closest human relationship ordained by God where a man is to leave his family and be cleaved as one flesh with the woman in betrothal (Genesis 2: 14). Marriage is much more than just legitimizing or maintaining a healthy sex life or coming together for the purpose of procreation. Since it is not good for the man to be alone (Genesis 2: 18), a married couple is supposed to be each other's best friends or soul mates who click and have fun together, completing each other in this side of Heaven.
The crux is the depth of our friendship with our spouse determines how much and how long we shall remain in love with each other. The feeling of being 'in love' can be a powerful motivating force that oils the engines of our marriages and long-term relationships. Otherwise marriage is a tall order (even for practicing Christians) and one that would be doomed to fail or stuck in the mire of low-level stability where people stay in loveless marriages for the sake of their kids or avoid being social stigmas.
Unfortunately, many couples fail to remain true friends in every sense of the words. Many marriages and long-term relationships become duty-bound/obligations-driven/debt-repaying where jealousy rides high and burdensome as participants demand constant affirmation/approval/agreement. Oftentimes these relationships degenerate into downright unloving.
We would need to search our hearts and honestly ask ourselves whether we have endeavored to remain true friends with our better halves, actively seeking God's help when the goings get tough. We learn to do this by choosing to adhere to biblical precepts on love (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8),
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails".
Even when it may deeply pain us to take every thought captive in fighting those accompanying raw emotions to be in obedience to God's words in the doing (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Regardless of how we are being treated in any given relationship, we are called to live in peace (Romans 12:18, 21) and to return good (love) for evil (unlove). Our religion would be worthless if we claim to love God but fail to demonstrate a loving attitude towards our spouses (who also happen to be our closest neighbors). There should never be any strings attached too - whether our partners have changed or not (in actuality or in our mere perception) or are deemed unlovely, unlovable and unloving.
- Amazon Customer Review
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